Luzee

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Amala’s Gawa III

I believe I am a born-mother, to say if chosen the ‘material’ way we are destined for that. In his words, my friend Sangay had said in response to my persistence to being spiritually inclined, “When we are born, we either choose the spiritual way or otherwise.” He was so right!
The decision to motherhood didn’t come without contemplation.
“Why ain’t you getting married?” The only bug for the couple of years after graduation. Why are we so governed by the rituals of life? Gracious me, this is exhilarating, and exhausting too! Every weekend or the other, there was a baby shower to attend or birthday dinners. Sigh! Happiness then became pressure onto yourself while holding a newborn in your arms.
“Nan ga turn sho hala ya nesho? (When is your turn?)” would be the thought for take-home. Like my friend Sonam hung on, I would casually hold onto “It’s coming, it’s coming!”
Oh yes, it’s absolutely sane to plan for parenthood if you are married! For someone who has bathed and dressed dolls as a child, and who became an aunt at the age of 15 followed by series of niece and nephew, I felt completely okay to expect motherhood. I love children, I so love them.
The profile pictures of friends on Facebook and elsewhere were at competitive rate, like I said my generation is enjoying fertility – everyday there popped a new little one, and another reason for changkey. At any gathering, the talks were nothing less than the testimonies of joys that came as given with the little ones, and of course the perils of parenthood as a result of direct switch from wild adults to obedient parents.
My turn was ON. After half a day’s labour, Lolo entered the world confirming to “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice” (Indian Proverb). Yes Lolo, that was exactly what your Mama recited when you came howling like a little jackal, your tiny milky limbs shivering with the strength of your first cry! You were a fighter then and there itself.
Let me confess that high school Biology classes had prepared me only on the ‘biology’ aspects of pregnancy, meaning to say there is more than that which I will spill in the next episode!

Luzee is the pen name of the writer, an ardent blogger.

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